Hi family ~ ◡̈ It's been a while, I have missed you guys! I hope everyone is safe and healthy, taking care of themselves and living in the presence of God in every moment.

I've been in a hidden and quiet season where the Lord is undoing me and addressing a lot of things within me. He's been uprooting and therefore bringing to the surface my insecurities, fears, doubts, legalism, unhealthy patterns, unhealed traumas, anger, misconceptions about who God is, and etc.

I've been wrestling a lot with my identity as His daughter and the truth of His grace, mercy, kindness, and love. All I knew growing up was a transactional love, so I've been so used to fighting to earn love. It made sense that when I was deserving of love, I received good things, but when I didn't live up to the standards others had/ wanted from me, it made sense that they had every right to toss me aside. My baseline identity was built on who others said I was, so when I was unable to live up to that standard, my identity would revert back to someone who was defective and born undeserving of love. So it would make sense when I would get hurt, because I felt like someone like me deserved it when I wasn't good enough. All of my unhealthy patterns and legalism in how I view my relationship is birthed from this place of no self worth. The Lord has been undoing and rebuilding my understanding of my identity in Him to one that is unshakeable, based on who He says I am and teaching me that He desires to give me the kingdom and wants me, cherishes me, wants to protect me, wants to hold me, wants to be near to me, wants to fight for me, wants to give me good gifts, wants me to be happy, etc. solely because I am His daughter. That I don't need to earn it, and I still don't deserve it, but He chooses to pour out His love and grace upon me.
John 3:1 "See what kind of love the Father has given to us, that we should be called children of God; and so we are."

Considering this, God's grace, mercy, kindness, and love for me is such a foreign concept. I'm overwhelmed because how could the perfect, God of the universe, the holiest of holies, love me and forgive me the way He does? How can He be so kind to me when all I've done is sin and fall short? and how do I just "receive" it? How do I just live in the truth of such a grand and perfect love that I have longed for all my life? How is it available for someone like me?

But step by step, day by day, probably for the rest of my life, He is cleansing me of all that is twisted and harmful in me, and is replacing it with His truths,. He is kindly forgiving me every time I sin and repent, He is still good to me even when I fail Him, He is teaching me a love that goes beyond my understanding and beyond what I have learned in this world, He is healing me of all my wounds, and consistently by my side, loving me.

What a good God. What a loving, perfect Father. I can't understand, but He's all I want and all I have. Help me to know you rightly Lord, and let my life be a pure worship of a daughter who is so broken and underserving yet found by a kind and loving God that saved her and healed her back to life. Teach me what this means and looks like, Lord.

I can't explain fully all that He's doing in me right now, but this is the gist ◡̈ I want to share that He is kind and loving, and that you are always embraced and welcomed by Him. So come as you are, and let Him undo all that the enemy has wrongfully twisted in your precious heart and life. He is safe and gentle. Near to the brokenhearted.

Would you receive all the praise you deserve, Lord.