Hi Everyone,

My name is Alex. In this video, I talk about a very vulnerable subject of how my childhood, and experiences in it, were instrumental in me coming to realise that I have a non-traditional orientation at such a late age.

I talk about the experience of being in a relationship with my ex girlfriend and the events that followed.

*This video discusses sexuality, childhood trauma, and mental health issues.

00:00 Introduction
02:00 Growing up
09:23 Meeting my ex girlfriend
13:49 In the presence of a deity
18:20 Struggles with intimacy
22:30 First emotional breakdown
25:57 Beginnings of being inauthentic
28:10 Something is off
29:12 Losing my virginity
30:45 Mystic experience #2
31:48 The day where it all changed
35:22 Hallucinations and stuck thoughts
36:22 Cognitive dissonance
38:25 Our dreams influence our perceptions
39:55 Paralysis
42:11 Being an Actor
43:26 Panic attack
47:10 Being in the closet
49:00 Acceptance
49:44 Coming out to my ex
52:18 Disbelief
52:51 Mistakes
55:00 Breaking up
57:57 Hurting