Alternative title: I try to make a depression vlog but psychosis interrupts me until it doesn't and then I finish the dang vlog.

Back before I knew I was schizoaffective, the psychotic experience you see in this video was common, and I truly believed it was the noise of the universe that leaked through our space time continuum. I was just “lucky” to hear it. I still struggle with that right when it happens.

Learning that the Noise™ was something that could be fixed with a pill was the greatest joy when I first started taking antipsychotics. Back before Zyprexa saved my life, the Noise™ would cause immense distress when it happened. Usually it would last for days at a time. But towards the end of my psychotic break, it was weeks of it.

But I wasn’t always looking like I did in this video. Back then I was better at hiding those expressions, the cringes, the reactions, and I got so used to it that the screaming in my head was normalized in my own brain. It's crazy what you can get get used to

And let it be known, when this happens, I am not violent, I am actually quite distressed and anxious and vulnerable; AKA the opposite of what the media--and society--would lead you to believe. I uploaded this for educational purposes, because mental health education is my passion and I want the world to know what this experience is like.

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Disclaimer: I am not a qualified mental health professional. This channel exists for educational purposes, and I do my best to provide accurate and up-to-date information. In order to create content, I combine scientific resources (peer reviewed studies and easy-to-understand articles) and my own personal experiences/advice. I seek to make complicated topics easy to understand, but I am no substitute for a doctor, therapist, or other qualified mental health professional.

#schizoaffectivedisorder #schizoaffective #psychosis #hallucinations #hallucination #schizophrenia #depression