'They say home is the place where your heart is
Then I am home now, though I am far away'

I've been doing a lot of thinking recently. About family, friendship – about places we call home. As someone who has been moving around on her own numerous times in the past decade, I've been finding it more and more difficult to come 'home'. No matter where I am, I never quite feel like this is the place where I belong. It's like the scenes have been frozen in time, everything remains the same, but I have changed. Then again I think maybe it's the other way around, maybe I am stuck, and things and people around me move on and I cannot reach anymore. After some time, it is hard to tell the difference.
I realized that I spent half my life chasing people who have turned their backs on me, and it's costing me my entire strength. I cannot do that anymore. The lyrics of this song, as well as this beautiful, wonderful movie, have touched me in a way that hit too close to home. (Pun not intended) I hope that someday I will find the place that will let me feel like I belong there with my entire being. Until then, "I've decided to carry home inside me."

♦

They say home is the place where your heart is
Then I am home now, though I am far away
For so long I've let the forest guard it
And now it's begging me to stay
And I'm trying my best to be tough
To pretend I am strong and can siphon it off
But I'm not who I wanted to be
In my heart I belong in a house by the sea

They say home is a place where you're needed
Then I am home now, but I am leaving
To feel my feet being kissed by the seaweed
And I will be silent and kiss it back
This is not who I want you to see
It's just adding on weight to the darkness in me
And from the little I have understood
I believe that a house by the sea would do good

They say home is a place you can choose to be
And I've decided to carry home inside me
So it's not really as if I am leaving
It's more like something pulling me
Because behind everything that I do
I just want to forget, want to carry this through
Fill my lungs with the sweet summer air
In my heart, in my mind I am already there

Yeah behind everything that I do
I just want to come home and lay down beside you
And then I'll be who I wanted to be
In my heart I belong in a house by the sea

INFO:
Anime: Ookami Kodomo no Ame to Yuki
Song: House by the Sea
Artist: Moddi